These Hands

One pair of these hands will grow more wrinkly, one of these hands will grow bigger and strong...and one pair of these hands will stay forever the same, perfectly porcelain white... I am acutely aware that this is the only way to experience holding the hands of both my boys at once.
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Sometimes I wonder what Calvin would think of his baby brother. The way Lane delights in his own reflection, I am sure he would love the antics of his older brother. I know, I know…had Calvin lived it is very unlikely that we would have tried for a second child so soon. Had Calvin lived, Lane might not exist. If I am going to imagine the impossible anyways, I am not going to get bogged down by logisitics. What would their relationship be like? He will always be my favourite ‘what if?’.
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October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month. Do you know a bereaved parent? Remember our babies with us, ask us about them.